Happy family: 5 signs that happiness is threatened
Content:
1. You go to bed at different times
2. You are indifferent to your partner
3. You went together to have fun and talk only about the children
4. You no longer swear
5. You do not know more of each other in a social media passwords
Ask any married couple: they will tell you that marriage – it’s not easy. Perfect love someone, but regular clashes on home soil exhausting. Sometimes a person whom we love more than anything else, is transformed into a man who wants to scratch out his eyes. Of course, there are good moments, when we can not live without each other, and simply die of adoration.
How do you determine that a bad beginning to prevail? How to understand that marriage is losing strength, gradually moving from “all have difficulties” category in the section “I’m living in hell”?
I understand it’s pretty simple, experts say: there are five basic signs that a marriage begins to wobble. If you find them at home, that’s no reason to panic, however, reason to ponder.
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1. You go to bed at different times
It is clear how it is: you’re tired and want to sleep, and he – not yet. is it so bad? Alas, no good.
“When you start going to bed at different times, something happens – says psychotherapist Christine Steiner-Powell, author of Cue Cards for Life (about this can be translated as” life tips “). “The first – and most important – you are no longer talking in bed as before, and this is the most intimate, the most sincere conversations. Secondly, when you go to bed apart, you are no longer hug before going to sleep, so – less have sex. ” Nothing good.
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2. You are indifferent to your partner
It would seem that those who are divorced, have vehemently hate each other. At the end of it all, what part, if the husband – not the devil incarnate? However, there is. A sign that the marriage breaks up – not fierce hatred and apathy and indifference.
“If somebody comes to me a couple, and one of them says:” I have it / hate it! “, I always say:” Good news, “Hatred – not the opposite of love, the opposite of love – indifference,” – said the therapist Mia Adler Ozeyr, author of “Inside information: how to choose an excellent therapist (and avoid bad).” “If the partners are still having feelings for each other, even if those feelings are negative, it means that their marriage alive.”
3. You went together to have fun and talk only about the children
Children – this is fine, and the love that both of you are experiencing them, affects the marriage is very beneficial. But when the basic meaning of your relationship becomes something other than relationships, it is a problem. With all the experts agree.
“If you’re scared focused on the education of children and missing out on your relationship as a couple, once these relationships fall apart, – says” Dr. Romance “Tina Tessin, psychotherapist and author of” Money, Sex and Kids: Stop swearing because of three things, that can destroy your marriage. ” That is why so many marriages fail, when children grow up (and even earlier). Men and women are vital to both, and it is the foundation on which the family is built.
4. You no longer swear
Everyone thinks that the quarrel – a sign of a terrible marriage. This is not true. In fact, when the couple ceases to quarrel, it is far more dangerous sign.
“The quarrel – this is a very intimate process,” – says Valery Jenks, founder and director of family therapy clinic in Chicago. “Conflicts are possible only with the people, on which all our focus. If the number of quarrels decreased, which means that the partners are moving away or even avoid each other. ”
5. You do not know more of each other in a social media passwords
Many of us never knew her husband’s password to the email or social networks, and on this occasion we can not say anything. However, a change of behavior: openness yesterday, today, on the contrary – a bad sign.
“If you change the password to an unknown to your partner, then you do not want your partner saw something”, – says Steiner-Powell. – “If you do something and do not want your partner found out about it, stop doing it.”
Bottom line. There is no way that all is well, and then immediately “we need to get a divorce.” To avoid divorce can be just a regular “Measuring temperature” of your marriage. Early notice signs that the love boat is leaking, is to save the marriage. Ideally, of course, refer to the family physician. But even a simple awareness of the problem and work together on a relationship can help. Spend more time together. Walk out on dates.
“If you are gradually moving away from each other,” – says Steiner-Powell – “every one of you will begin to look for, what to replace the connection. So find any, even the most stupid, but the joint activity – it unites. “
